T.A. Michaels

So... I've been rather Obsessed with Zeds Dead since seeing them in Boston a couple of months ago. I'm not sure why. They are an extremely good EDM group. And I think it might be the fact that the music is good... but i've been finding myself listening to them very often. While Katie has already moved on to other music... I haven't yet found something that peaks my interest. Maybe soon I'll hear something that I end up obsessing over for a few months. Today was rough. Aside from the fact that I'm sun burnt to the point of laughing at myself... The work day was... different. I'm trying to pin it all on the new medication that I'm on. Incase I didn't mention it sooner, I am now on a non stimulate ADHD medication which appears to be working quite well. My day flew by for the most part. However, my boss was finding it odd. As he said I seemed "muted" today. Really I was dealing with the fact that every inch of my skin was stinging anytime I mov...

I'm rather uncomfortable right now. Today Katie, her friend, and I went to the beach. Now... maybe years ago I was more tan... or maybe years ago the sun wasn't as strong... But.. damn... a few hours out in the sun and I am roasted. Even the tan parts of me have a sun burn. I have a feeling it's going to be a rough night of sleeping. The beach was nice though. Katie and I have gone walking by the beach for a few years... but we haven't actually gone swimming. Salt water is healing. Katie and I are both water signs and i always find swimming to be therapeutic. The only downside today was that there was red tide. Lots of it. I wonder if it was that way at all the beaches in Rhode Island this weekend... or if it was just the southern most beaches.  I'm looking to start a business in the next few weeks with a friend. We are collaborating on the idea now... but i'm thinking sometime in the next month or so we might actually have something off the ground. It's not...

It's Saturday, the 22nd. It's been a good day so far. I woke up relatively early.  When I woke up, I headed down to my Therapy appointment. I find it to be somewhat therapeutic. I guess that's the point right. It's just hard to remember everything that comes up over the course of the month. Generally its a matter of  "So whats new" and then just going from there. And while there's new things that pop up everyday... It's hard to explain everything. I usually stick to general topics, Work... Katie... Health... and Family. Sometimes i get the impression the guy doesn't even want me in his care.. Hell... I've gotten that from a few doctors and therapists now... That could be my own paranoia though.  After Therapy i went over my uncles house. The last time i saw him was in the late winter. It's funny because growing up i idealized him. And i think that overtime i ended up going in a different direction. Between that... and me just not having eno...

Powerball last night was up to 1 Billion Dollars. It's difficult to image someone one day just walking up to another person and handing them a check that much. Especially from a lottery win. Now granted, i realize it's not the full one billion. Taxes... the Lotteries commission... the Place that sells it... it's probably more like half a billion dollars. Maybe even less. Still... Handing out a check for that much money is crazy. What would I do if that happened to me? Probably have a heart attack or stroke... I don't think I would throw it away. I think that I'd have more money than I knew what to do with. I probably wouldn't run out and buy a 20 million dollar yacht. It's not practical. I don't even have my boating license. I'd probably start my own charity.. Not sure what for though. I've had a few charity ideas over the years... between scholarships and organization. Hell... one day i wanted to organize a ton of people to clean up a few heavil...

 It's about 4:00 AM. It's early to say the least. Saturday night I had to cover a shift for a coworker so I ended up sleeping almost 12 Hours yesterday afternoon into this morning. So far it's been productive. I woke up, took a shower, Went and Got a coffee, Picked up deodorant from Walgreens. Came home, Brush my teeth, and wrote out a plan for My Morning / Evening routines going forward. One thing I'm finding is that with the additional of the new medication is just how much it effects me. When I first took it Sunday morning...my mind felt like it had a complete melt down for an incident which took place around 10am. Granted... I had been up all night so I'm sure that had an impact... but never the less, I wasn't able to function correctly for my job. It's just something that I need to be aware of going forward because if i am going to be picking up on-call engagements.... I have to be hyper aware of the side effects. The other thing I noticed about the new...

This past Thursday, I had an appointment with my Medication manager. We discussed a running pattern which had been taking place over the last 20 years (Since the end of highschool). Basically a situation where i struggle at the start... ramp up to great within a given situation... then i push just a little bit past 100%... and end up running out of steam or burning out within the situation. I can think of atleast a few times this has happpened. 17, 22, 31, and damn near 37. The root cause of this... might have been discovered.  While we are still on the early stages of the diagnosis... and i haven't been treated yet with Medication (I picked up the medication but i am not starting it until tomorrow night (Sunday) due to a work obligation. I am hopeful that in 6-8 weeks we can make a good determination as to whether or not i - in fact - have ADHD. When thinking about Highschool and Middle school. The likely reason these symptoms didnt present themselves is because I had more than en...

 I was at the gas station today wearing a band T-Shirt. It is a Deftones T-Shirt that I had bought for the two of us when we went to their concert last year in Boston. The person behind the counter stated that she liked my shirt. I said thanks, and told her the story of how I got it (briefly). She said that the band has started to blow up among younger people. I find this interesting because I've been listening to the band since I was 14. When I was young... the band was blowing up. Not just with Younger people, but with the entire metal scene as it was in its infancy. Thinking about it now though... that was 20 years ago.  The lesson i guess is a matter of following the trends. I saw Deftones one other time prior to that. It must have been 2002 or 2003... and they were playing a small club in Providence. One of the greatest music venues in the state. Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel. This was back when it was on Westminster street... before JWU bought most of the street and the rest o...

I had an interesting conversation yesterday with a stranger. We had come to the conclusion that the English suck. Which is interesting because according to my father... I'm part English. Between the crusades, and the transatlantic slave trade... the English in the 2nd Millenia were terrible people. When thinking about the advancements of the English during the same time period... there wasn't much to write home about. Accept maybe the creation of divorce in the Church, a few great minds, and the end to the British royal family as the leader of England - instead turning it over to the governing bodies which represent the people. While you can renounce your faith, your government, or even your profession... its impossible to renounce your heritage. Unfortunately, English DNA is the genetic makeup of my body, as well as a few other things (If I even decide to take a genetic test, I'll know for certain). It's something I can't escape from. An unlucky roll of the dice at...

So, I think i may have found a way to make this easier. It's going to a take a bit of getting used to. But, in theory, it should may my entries more productive and a bit easier to write. I forget sometimes that we live in the year 2023 and there are plenty of options available when it comes to expressing our thoughts. First the hammer and chissle.. then the quill and ink... then the pen and pencil... and ultimately the keyboard. But the keyboard comes in different options.  Today has been good so far. This morning was productive. Katie and I went for a walk which is something we really hadnt done since the spring. Then when we got back we had lunch and watched an episode of Black Mirror. It was a unique episode to say the least. With Black Mirror, they usually are though. Now... im working on getting motivated for the coming week. Even though it's "The weekend" and by most holy religions its a rest day... our society doesnt work that way and by all rights neither shou...

Self doubt is a bitch. I'm working through some major issues regarding my ability to function as a human being. Part of me says I should go easy on myself. I have a major mental disorder and given the fact that I do so much already... I should count myself lucky given the fact that many people with my disorder are not able to function has highly. (My doctor states that I'm high functioning). One thing that's been identified recently is my "Need" for physical activity. 45-90 Minutes of moderate to intense physical activity several times per week is needed in order to maintain the correct mental framework so that way i stay on point, focused, and out of depression. That is probably true for anyone... But its extremely true for me. Once i get back on track with "a" routine... then things should start to fall back into place. Starting a habit takes 66 days... or something like that. And Looking at July / August / September... If i can start a series of Micro...