T.A. Michaels

There's only a few days left in March. This year seems like it's flying by already.. and I don't know if I'm keeping up with the pace. I have my goals in place for mid-year. And by getting my thoughts in order I'll hopefully meet two of the three goals by July First. Starting Friday, I am whole heartedly committing to quitting smoking. April first is my quit date and I have all the needed Patches to quit smoking. The trick is going to be finding something to do with my boredom. It may mean a lot more writing here during my downtime.  When I have wanted alone time this past winter, I have resorted to going out to my car and reading articles, Checking my horoscope obsessively... and most of all... Chain Smoking. By no means is it healthy. But its what I have become a custom too. So in order to break this habit... I have to change the trigger... or "Cue." If the cue is me wanting some alone time... then the routine needs to switch from going outside and chain...

 So, I've been in Therapy for over a year now. When I first started I had major trust issues. What I learned was that was mainly due to abandonment issues which had taken place throughout my Childhood. I find it interesting that something so small as being left alone in a casino for a few hours while my family went and gambled.. could have such an impact on me as an adult. To the point where I sabotaged a lot of my adult friendships and relationships as a result. Basically pushing others away because i was afraid that they would one day leave me. And by me pushing them away... I never let them get close enough to truly hurt me. But in the process... I hurt myself. As well as a lot of other people. Mix trust issues with paranoid delusions... and you get someone who has a hard time letting anyone near them... for fear that i will end up being hurt.. and hurting the other person. Through therapy i worked through most of the issues. When i saw my therapist today... we talked about my r...

 I didn't really have a chance to write this past weekend which is why there was no post. So here is a make up post on a Wednesday. Things are actually going decent for midweek. I found I had some issues at the start of the week which I thought were going to last but luckily they faded out. I've been noticing an increase in Auditory issues and Intrusive thoughts while at work over the last few weeks and it was really starting to get the best of me. Last week my doctor had increase my Anti-Psychotic Medication by 1mg and I am finding that it has been somewhat helpful in reducing symptoms however it didn't exactly cure the problem. I struggled on Monday and Tuesday because my paranoia at work is getting the best of me. From a financial standpoint... I don't see how the business can justify as many Technicians they have hired. It makes sense for the busy season but I have seen a marked slow down in incidents over the last week or so and it makes me worry that there will be...

 I did some research this week on why my belly is the way it is. It turns out that I have to much Viscera fat. This is the type of fat that exists in your abdominal cavity and surrounds your internal organs. It's like to Diabetes, Stroke, Cancer, and Heart Disease. Now that I am aware of it... I plan on doing something about it. I found two things which can help to decrease Viscera fat. First, a low carb diet promotes Viscera fat loss as apposed to counting calories or a low fat diet. Second, Vigorous exercise such as Running, Jogging, or Biking. The exercise is supposed to be 3-5 times per week. Strength training exercises are also recommended 2-3 times per week.  So... with all this said. Now i need to make a plan. Thats what im going to be doing today. With me starting as soon as tonight. Or at the least tomorrow. I'll write more later.  T.A. Michaels

 It's a little after 12:15pm. I've over heating to the fullest extent possible. I have all of the windows open in the apartment, hoping that would cool me off but sadly it seems to have had the opposite effect. I don't know if it's because it's raining.. or if its just my body chemistry... But I feel warm in the face, and cold to the touch.  This past week I made a real push to get my time up to the 80% that they are requesting of us. I finished the week at 81% which is good. At a meeting we had last Monday they indicated that the bonus program may be coming back, So that is good incentive for me to complete my tasks and mark all of my time. In reality I should be finishing the week between 90% and 100%. The gaps would be any meetings that i have during the day.  I met with my new med manager on Wednesday. She stated that we had met before but for the life of me I don't remember it. She got my general background information and prescribed me something for Anxiet...