Three Weeks of Winter Left

 I'm on track right now to be Smoke free by the end of April. It's been a long road of unsuccessful quit attempts but I feel that the one I am currently on will in fact be successful. I'm currently 2 weeks alcohol free. I hope that I can continue this for the remainder of the year. I have learned to limit my drinking when I do in fact drink, But the negative side effects in the days after drinking are something that I want to stay away from. I find that after a night of drinking I often feel anxious for a period of time after the fact. It also exasperates my Schizoaffective symptoms. I recently reread a book I have on preventing Bi-Polar Relapse. There are a number of strategies in the book and to follow it 100% would mean eliminating a lot of the foods and behaviors that I currently do in order to achieve mental wellness. The "Affective" in Schizoaffective is basically Bi-Polar disorder so I figure if I can prevent a mood episode it will likely prevent the psychosis that goes along with it. Hence why I'm giving up Nicotine and Alcohol now. I figure this will help get me to where I want to be mentally.. and then I can implement some of the other practices that are in the book. 

We had a string of nice weather on and off the last two weeks... However we are now down into the lower 40s and upper 30s again. It's still winter... So I guess I should be thankful that it was as nice as it was... However with the random Ice Storm we just received it makes walking around rather bad so I am limited in my walking capabilities. I know the snow and ice will be melted away over the next few days, So I am happy about that. Then I can get outside and enjoy the going walking again. I have been doing some thinking about my weight and I am trying to determine the best course of action for losing a few pounds a week. Last Monday I hit my lowest weight in 6 months at 263.8lbs. Of course a bout of depression had led me to eat unhealthy nearly every day this week... so I am not looking forward to getting on the scale tomorrow morning. I also know that it's very likely I gain additional weight now that I've finally quit smoking. I am not getting a lot of steps in these days. I had to return to the office as all the Technicians had gotten called back in last Tuesday. This makes for a hard time getting in steps during the day as I'm literally strapped to my chair for 8 hours a day. I can still make healthy choices though. Providing I am able to get up with my alarm in the morning (5:30 AM) then I'll be able to eat a balanced Breakfast. I live close enough to my job that I can come home for lunch every day and eat something that's healthy. The trick is that on day's when Katie is working nights, to still have a healthy dinner. That would help me out a lot... and Budget wise its a good solution too.

Speaking of Budget... I am still doing well with my money. I've paid off a few bills in the last 2 weeks that will assist in my having a little more spending cash for the week. However, my goal is too pay off all my debt in the next two years. Katie wants to return to school full time but in order to do that we have to have our finances in order. That means her debt needs to be as low as possible... and as for me... I can't have any debt what so ever. I question if I will be ok with her not working for an extended period of time. She would have to go to school for at least 4 years in order for her to get a job in the Mental Health Counseling field. There would be a few benefits of this though. When she's finally done with college she would be going into a field that she fells passionate about. And in the end she would actually be happy working every day as apposed to how she feels now. It would be less strain on her mentally and physically so the benefits of this would be better. My only concern would be if something happened to my job... with only one income we would be screwed. Furthermore... if something happened to my mental health and I had to go back out on Disability... we wouldn't be able to sustain ourselves. Both of those concerns are very really... But it's best to not think about them at the moment. I've been trying to determine additional sources of income... however I haven't been successful yet. Part of me still thinks that crypto mining would be a good idea for an income source... however i have been unable to find a decent rig that would cost less than $1000 for this project. I could start with just one Graphics card and then slowly work my way into a full 6 or 8 card rig... But the return on investment would be so small that it wouldn't be worth the money spend for at least a year. Other options for income sources include things like Meal Delivery, Camming, or Vlogging. Meal Delivery would put my car into an early grave. Camming requires a lack of respect for ones self... and Vlogging requires an audience and topics that people care about. I even thought about getting a second job at a gas station. I know that the best option for additional income is for me to get promoted as fast as possible. 

That's about all that i have for today. Write more next week,

T.A. Michaels