A new old Hobby

I no longer want to watch or read the news. Yesterday there was an article I saw detailing the UN's latest report stating that it is now to late to save the planet from the 2 degree Celsius temperature threshold that will become basically Doom for the planet and human race. As I read it I realized that even if I went 100% Carbon negative... there's nothing I can do to change the future. The earth will warm up.... The Sea Ice will melt... extreme weather will continue... and all I can do is hope to survive. With all that said... I'm now going to be changing my focus. Instead of constantly thinking about the Big Picture as people often told me to do when i was younger... I'm now going to be thinking about the small picture. Me... my future wife... and my cats. My Close Family too. 

One thing I hope to do in the coming weeks is getting back into some of my old hobbies. I like creative writing... and while I'll probably never make a career out of it, its something that helps me destress because i can take a topic and write a short story on it. These stories take 30-60 minutes to write and usually go based on stream of consciousness. Another thing I'd like to do is get back into video games. I owe a PS4 with several games. Most of them have been sitting there unbeaten for a long time now. I feel that I'll get a sense of accomplishment by beating the games and one small win will eventually turn into multiple small wins. Which may eventually lead to a big win. Katie doesn't mind me playing. And its a much better alterative than watching the news. The last thing I hope to get back into on a grander scale is reading. I've been absorbed in so much terrible shit lately that the insights and Joys found in books has been lost for a while. I've currently rereading one of the books I have on Buddhism and I'm hoping that by the end of it I'll be looking towards reading another book... or finishing one of the ones I already have started. 

I am going to start to prioritize my mental and physical health over the next few months. The beginning part of the year i focused on my career but as a result my mental health and physical health took at back seat. I feel that by putting work on the back burner for a while I'll be able to better get a hold of some of my daily struggles. Hygiene, Diet, Exercise... These are all things that I need to focus on. I've become king of escapism.. Reading a dozen or so horoscopes a day just to see what tomorrow will bring. And often times they don't come true so its a wasted obsession. I think that if I can solidify a start and end time to my days then I'll be in better shape. Ideally I'd like to get 7-8 hours of sleep every night. Now I'm averaging between 9 and 11 hours. I know that this is partly due to my medication... but realistically I shouldn't be sleeping that long. and if I can go to bed at an earlier time... I'll be in a better place mentally. Thinking about it... there's been 2 or 3 times in my life time when I finally said that I had to get my shit together and I started waking up early and showering / Shaving / and doing some decent self care. If this means I got to start going to bed at 8pm every night so I can wake up at 6am and get my day started... then that's exactly what I have to do. at least until I can get into a good routine and can move my bed time back a few hours. To be honest I don't even think its going to bed at 10pm that is screwing me up... I think its the fact that I'm taking my pills at 10pm. Then on the weekends I have an inconsistent sleep scheduled all together. Once my sleep is figured out... I think then and only then will i be able to Get the diet and exercise under control. One thing at a time.