T.A. Michaels

 I find it funny that im starting to fall into depression. Considering the fact that i have plenty to be feeling good about... I find im struggling in a lot of areas right now. I know that as i get into a good daily routine things will get better. I've only been living in my new apartment for 2 weeks now. And while im out of the toxic situation that i was living in previously... im still dealing with the Hateful and destructive shit that got pumped into my head over the last month and a half. While I cant put much stock in the things my old roommate said... it still had an effect on me. It further damaged my self esteem and self confidence. Being called your shit by someone that has an addiction problem and largely had no value for life... really made me feel like less than human. In the end... im better off no longer in that situation. Between the neighborhood antics... to living with angry abusive destructive alcoholic.... It made to much sense to move. I find some bit of sadness...

 I don't mean plans for New Years Eve... I mean plans that I want to accomplish over the course of the next year. 2020 had a lot going on, aside from the global pandemic. Its the individual stories that probably matter the most. From going on disability... To Moving into an apartment with a friend... rescuing two kittens... Losing my grandfather which has effected me more than I realized... To Getting back into the work force... My girlfriend going on TDI due to chronic anxiety... to the dissolve of the friendship with my roommate... to moving into a new place. This year has been full of items both good and bad... expected and unexpected. The thing i want to do in 2021... most of all... Is relax. The every day hustle and bustle isn't what bothers me.. Its the things that are beyond my control which often make it hard for me to keep happy about. Right now I've got so much good going on in my life but really I feel kind sad. I don't know if its because of the items that I...