Mood Swings without cause

I'm finding that my mood has been swinging from sad to angry for no reason. Generally I'd say I should be happy given my circumstances.. But I feel deep down as if this was all rushed upon me and I'm a bit upset about it. The only one that rushed things was myself. So I'm mad at myself for being impulsive and making decisions that were geared towards immediate gratification rather than looking at the potential long term effects of my decisions. I'm sad about the fact that I cant really undo what I've done. Not to say that I would if I could... If I didn't move last week I wouldn't have been able to take in the two kittens... if I couldn't take in the two kittens they probably would have died of exposure by now. It's somewhat weird to think that a week ago I was living with my parents... and now im living on my own.

This isn't the first time I lived on my own. from 20-22.... 26-27... 30-33... Each one had a lesson tied to it. It's not that I couldn't remain on my own.. its that something usually came up and we needed each other again. I wont be going back to them though... even though my dad insists that if I ever need a place to crash their house is open... I feel that for most people under my circumstances... they end up homeless when the same set of things happen to them... and I'm ready to accept that as a potential for life if it comes down to it. As long as I can get my medication I don't see that happening though.

This morning I am in a fairly decent mood... The kittens ate earlier.. and I went out to go grab a coffee. I gotta get a coffee maker for the house... and maybe a toaster too. On todays agenda is cleaning the rest of the dishes... sweeping up the kitchen and living room... and overall just relaxing for the day. My stress levels have been high the last few days so I need to get that under control before I start taking it out on people I care about.

That's all for now,

-T.A. Michaels

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