T.A. Michaels

So, I was out with a friend earlier tonight... and I hear some troubling things around the place I was in. It was entirely packed which got my friend fired up but the news around the place was that someone I used to know was in danger. It troubled me because the person isn't in my life anymore and well.. I don't even know if they were talking about the same person. When I stepped outside for a smoke the TV sounded like it was talking to me directly rather than being a general audience kind of thing. Lastly... when my girlfriend laid down for the night and put on tiktok with headphones in... the noises coming from her headphones was talking about a possible situation that is definitely happening next weekend, just from the worst case scenario perspective. Can't win today. Hope tomorrow is better, -T.A. Michaels.

Last night was a little rough. I got a terrible nights sleep. For some reason after I took my pills my heart started racing. I'm not sure why but it took me a couple of hours to settle down and finally fall asleep. The dream I had was extremely vivid. I was cussing out a friend of mine at a car dealership. He was trying to explain every reason to the salesmen why they shouldn't sell the car to me and I got in a fight with him about how my life is compared to him. After about an hour or so of dreaming I woke up and used the bathroom and couldn't fall back to sleep until around 7am. I slept on and off until about noon today. I find with the medication I have extremely vivid dreams. It can make it difficult to snap out of them and return back to normal life when I wake up. With that said, I also understand the importance of sleep on a daily basis. I should be getting between 7 and 9 hours every day of uninterrupted sleep. I find that my finally thoughts before bed usually ha...

It's 2:11pm in the afternoon and I am finding I am having a bit more trouble than I did yesterday. The ebbs and flows of my symptoms seem to be flaring up right now and I'm not exactly sure why. The passing traffic seems to have a voice of its own. My internal chatter isn't just my own personal voice at the moment but the nightmarish yells of past regrets and actions which may never have occurred. I would say this is one of my more manic states. I've had a hard time sitting down today for more than 20 minutes. I've been all over and haven't really seemed to accomplish much, with the exception of breakfast with my Dad. I did channel the energy for some good though. I cleaned living space up today, got my State taxes straightened out as there was an issue with them, and I even did a phone interview for a job. I want to get back to work as soon as possible, and while my last attempt at working didn't go so well, I am hoping that I am getting back into a mind ...

Hello There, I go by the pen name T.A. Michaels. I am a 34 Male and I have experienced mental health issues since I was 16 years old. At an early age, I was prone to constant worry and anxiety which left untreated turned into bi-polar depression. Due to circumstances I was involved in during my late teens and early twenties, at the age of 22 I suffered a nervous breakdown and started hearing voices. I was hospitalized twice in 2008 for paranoid delusions involving the government and also heard voices that were no existent, both internal and external. I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder. Schizoaffective Disorder is a combination of the delusions and hallucinations of Schizophrenia and the mood related symptoms of Bi-Polar Disorder. Over the past 12 years, I have had multiple ups and downs due to the disorder. I am starting this blog as a way of assisting others with knowing more about one of the most severe types of mental illness. I am considered high functioning as when ...