T.A. Michaels

So, today marks 61 days since last smoking a cigarette. That's 5 days off of the Nicotine Replacement Therapy (Patches) and I haven't slipped. While this should be a major accomplishment for me, I'm just disappointed that this didn't take place back in 2021 when i initially started to attempt to quit smoking cigarettes. The Money saved over the last 4 years would have been tremendous and it likely would have prevent a whole slew of terrible things from happening over the last few years. Being addicted to Cigarettes is dangerous and the length that people go through to attempt to justify their addictions is ridiculous. Considering Cigarettes cost over $5,000 a year to be a pack a day smoker here in New England... i could have stood to keep the $20,000 that i spent on cigarettes over the last 4 years. What i am doing is finding that I'm having a bit less "Get up and go" and I'm also gaining weight at a rather shitty pace. I know that its just the "a...

 A lot has changed over the last few months. I briefly had a job after returning from Disability, but i found the demands of the job were something that i wasn't capable of handling so it didn't work out. I'm still looking to return to the work force, but i don't think I'll be returning at the same level i left it. While i had been a L4 / Supervisor... I think when i return to work i want to come in at an L2 / L3. There is a lot less pressure to perform at that level and it is ultimately less risk for our household. While we need to be making a certain dollar amount each month / I feel that i can make up the difference between my other income sources. I have setup both a T-Shirt Business as well as published a book this year so its in my interest to see those two avenues flourish. I haven't been writing here as consistently as previous years. Truth is I'm spending more of my time writing in either One Note or just a plain old notebook.  Last month, I receive...

 I was reorganizing my desk today and moved my computer and in doing so i heard a pop and felt it in my back. I dont know if i mentioned this before, but sometime last year i was picking up a server at work and when i leaned back with it in my arms, i felt a crunch. My back has been kinda iffy ever since. Other than some mild discomfort and pain, life is good. 

I was outside early today admiring an old birds nest in my neighbors tree. I thought it was interesting because when a bird's nest is left alone all winter, any bird can come back to it in the spring and have their babies there rather than just that one specific bird that first set it up. The nest, looking undisturbed... could have been there for a few years now, and this is the first time I'm noticing it. The part that took my attention the most, wasn't the birds nest, but rather the fact that the tree already had buds on it. It's February 4th... The trees in New England shouldn't have buds on them already. It's too damn cold and the temps shift wildly it'll kill the damn buds and therefore the trees themselves. My book is published and out on amazon. Link below https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DTBTKJ1J

Last week i set out to figure out the Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing process and actually nailed it down. I had written a book last year about my experiences with psychotic episodes based on my personal experience with them. Tracing all the way back to 2008 when i experienced my first one, The book is a first hand account at my struggle to deal with paranoid delusions while maintaining a normal life. Overall its not that long of a read. And I'm hoping that anyone who buys it on Amazon will find hope in it rather than despair. The fact that my first episode was triggered by a suicide attempt in 2008 and here i am 17 years later still alive an kicking is a good thing. If i had to attribute my progress to anything, i would say it was likely my medication and a supportive group of people over the years that helped me get to where i am. If you are interested search "Ramblings of a ..." by T.A. Michaels on Amazon.com after January 25. Have a good day

  It's time for a career change. I have been in the IT industry since 2003 and really don't have much to show for it except a mental condition. I recently started a new job and while it's a great company with great coworkers, I feel I need time out of the IT industry to reset and recharge. Now, I know what you're thinking. This guy just wants to sit on his ass all day and play video games, but it's not true. I've been a registered UBER driver for 10 years now. I've done it on and off when expenses were tight over the years, but I want to do it full time. Why drive, you ask? Well, by nature I'm extroverted, so I enjoy talking to people. UBER gives me the chance to socialize with people I might not normally interact with, and that can be a fun experience. I once met a boat worker that I spent 1 1/2 hours driving to a marina so he could grab a ferry home. It was a long car ride, but it was interesting to learn about his profession. With IT, I've become ...

I started the new job about three weeks back. The training scheduled has been good. The first week was mainly policies and trainings. The Second week was shadowing with my team members. And last week was me being shadowed while another Engineer monitored. I believe I have at least 1 to 2 more weeks of that... then I'll be off and running on my own until I adjust for to my actual position. I've had two onsite engagements so far with my direct coworker. And I have several more lined up over the next two weeks. Overall, I'm happy about the position. It's lead to a mindset shift for both me and my wife.  Over the past couple of weeks we've been more engaged in our marriage and shared goals. I'm optimistic about the future. And I'm looking forward to the next few months. 

Recently, I got a new job. When i went to put in my two weeks at my existing job management indicated that I didn't have to come in and could be discharged early if i wanted. So i said ok. I've had about 2 weeks off by this point and I start my new job on Monday the 28th. I'm looking forward to it.  While I've been off, I've been tending to things around the house and becoming more active. I've been able to go to the gym virtually any time i want... and the wife and I even took up Basketball today. I'm hoping that i can spend this fall / winter / spring getting my physical health in order while at the same time advancing my career. I am also working on Quitting smoking. Today is day 3 of 56 in the program. I'm expecting my sense of smell to improve sometime in the next 24 hours. Usually it kicks in between day 3 and day 5. It usually comes on suddenly and without warning. All of a sudden the smells of the room I'm in are overly amplified. Which can h...

 Yesterday went out like a bang. I ended up smoking nearly two packs of cigarettes yesterday which is a bit harder than one might think. Especially when smoking Marlboro's. I found that by midway through the second pack i found that i was nearly dying for oxygen. Which is tough when your standing up and walking around nearly the entire time. The second pack of cigarettes literally made me feel like I was dying. When i got home last night after smoking the full second pack... I found that laying on the couch, I had more than enough mucus in my throat to choke me and the sounds of breathing were not fun. In order to calm down... I put on a movie and watched about an hour of it. The Justice League - Justice is Grey... I've never watched it before and figured a 4 hour movie would be good to dive the senses into. After an hour or so... Katie wanted me to come to bed so that's ultimately what I did.  When i woke up this morning... the craving for a cigarette was fairly strong. I ...